Critique Readers

I've almost started this post several times, and walked away each time. It's a scary thing, but also a necessary part of the whole writing process. So.... (deep breath)

As I posted last week, I finished my first edit revisions to the novel-in-progress (working title: Demon Stone).  I printed it out:

And then took a few days off to serve as scorekeeper for an International Chii Society chili cook off in CT to benefit a U.S. Marine who was injured in Afghanistan and is currently undergoing rehab. But now it's back to work. I will be reading through the printed version and making notes on things that still need work, but I know I will never catch it all. Some things you just overlook because you know what you meant to type, and others are just things that make perfect sense to you, as the writer of the story because you have it all in your head anyway, but those same things may leave a reader confused or unsatisfied. With all that in mind, I am asking for some help.

I would like a few people to read through the story for me, and let me know what's wrong: spelling, grammar, plot holes, stuff that doesn't make sense, stuff that doesn't work, anything that could help make it a better story. There are some guidelines:

1) It is a bit over 72,000 words at this point. That works out to just under 300 pages at the fairly standard 250 words per page rate. It's a lot to read, and I really would like the feedback to be relatively timely. Now, I understand that 300 pages is not going to be done overnight, especially if one is trying to crit read. So if you can't, you can't. It's ok.

2) I really do want criticism, but I'm going to ask that it be constructive, please. I mean, if you really don't like it, that's fine, and you can say so. I can take it (I think). Please tell me if something doesn't work, just feels wrong, or is out of whack with the story as a whole. I need to know where things don't work. If you find something, and can explain what you see as wrong, I will take your suggestions seriously.

3) I would have to categorize this as an occult fantasy. It has demons, and some ritual magic as major elements of the story. It's in a contemporary setting, not a high fantasy, pseudo-medieval realm. No elves or ogres or trolls, either. It is not sword and sorcery. Just so you know.

If you think you might want to help me out, please let me know. Depending on response, I may not choose everyone. If I don't ask you to read, please don't be upset with me!

For those who are asked to read, please let me know if an .rtf file will work for you. I do my writing with yWriter, and export to .rtf to clean up the formatting a bit. If plain .txt works for you, I can do that. I'm sure we can work something out, whatever your reading choice is.

If you would like to give Demon Stone a read through for me, you can leave a comment here letting me know how to contact you (email is good), or email me at makropp(at)gmail(dot)com

Thanks for your help!